Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Both Blasphemy and Madness, This is LIFE!

The title just came to me. Is it related to the post? I don't know... For those who are wondering why I keep using the words blasphemy and madnessin my posts, haha, it comes from 300, the movie. One of the most famous dialogues, "This is blasphemy, this is madness..."

For a while I have been feeling quite depressed or I tend to think I have been feeling that way. Its not a good feeling at all. It feels like the whole world hates you. but not only that, it feels like you hate yourself. It gets hard to meditate, to focus on school. I hope I can fight it off. Those who see me and chat with me, probably haven't noticed though, because I am always trying to have a good time, always laughing (sometimes at nothing, sometimes at my state).

However, depressed I maybe, I always have a part of me that is happy, always happy, overly exicited sometimes. I don't know why; maybe I am depressed because I don't know why. Maybe the word depressed is a big word, and sad is more like it. Perhaps, I am not depressed at all and it's just part of stress. Final exams are just around the corner...

Anyway, whatever happens it's all good! I gotta say though, that's a bad introduction to this post. I had recently developed a piece (still in progress) on Guru Nanak, the founder of Sikhism. I had initially pictured it with a cheery feeling, you know, the kind of feeling you don't have when your sad! haha

But, before I started painting, I thought, "Let me try something."

So I painting this dark, hot sky, and continued from there. I was probably letting out my feelings but then I realized, "This is it!"

This is the setting Guru Nanak should be placed in! I mean he wasn't fighting against flowers and singing birds, he was fighting against oppression, prejudice, politics, and the corrupted ones. I believe the setting reflects that time perfectly. ... Even when I am not painting war, I am still talking about fighting stuff. Haha, this is the perfect transition from MAD war paintings to pretty, everything-is-so-nice paintings. About the Mad war paintings, I can't wait to finish those off in the summer! Talking about summer, I will probably be joining some feed-the-homeless (sikhcess?) events and stuff. I had been planning for a while, but was too lazy. That will end this summer because I really want to make a difference!